Day One

   Having thought, prayed and procrastinated for over a year...I'm finally getting started on a dream.  This blog may be read by no one but me.  At this point I find that prospect far less daunting than having millions of followers who check my grammar and spelling and political correctness along the way.  I should say on this first day of all that my concern will not be with political correctness, (although I hope my grammar and spelling don't stand in the way of my words!).  I am far more interested in theological correctness. 
   I write as a Christian first, a wife and mother second.  This is what matters to me, and I believe matters to many.  It is my hope that some of my thoughts, struggles, goals and prayers will encourage other Christian wives to "stay the course".  Isolation is usually not as absolute as it feels. Women of faith are not all pretty, excited, upper middle class comedians.  We are also poor, overweight, depressed and struggling.    I use such negative terms because we live with those tapes in our heads.  We play these tapes when we glance in the mirror, look at our unmade beds and unwashed dishes and listen to our children fight over nothing, and ourselves battle with our husbands over ego boundaries and checkbooks.  
   I have been married for over 22 years.  For at least the first 15 I saw clearly how the problems I had to deal with were primarily my husband's fault.  It seems easy to say that I've finally grown past that.  It would be a lie, however.  My focus is easily shifted from Christ and His work in my life to my husband's inability to grow up.  The current culture of women supports this.  Our conversations often affirm all our irritations and criticisms of the men we are married to.  Our husbands deserve better.  We deserve better.  God wants to give us so much more than that fleeting satisfaction of feeling superior, which is usually followed by a good bout of resentment, anger and/or depression. 
   If anyone cares to join me on this written journey, it would be my pleasure to have you.  Self pity is not an option.  I will try at all costs to avoid classic co-dependence.  My goal is to present my husband to the the Lord on Judgement day as my most beloved companion, cherished friend, and fellow Christian.  I will no longer wait for this to be his own goal with regards to me.  That is between himself and God.  I have me to work with.  My spiritual resources are limitless and all the love that is required is there for the asking. 
     P.S.  I chose the title for this blog because I have a problem with DOING.  BEING works great for me(...although it has encouraged the self pity problem!)  My new watchword is "pray first..then get up and do the dishes!"