I feel compelled to write and apologize to myself and any others opening this blog for the last two posts. Yesterday's attempt at making my home a castle was such an abysmal failure that I feel exhausted today...and left wondering..."what to do now?"
The perennial problem is that a Castle usually involves more than a Queen (that being myself of course.) There is a King, princes, honored guests, servants, and pets. This mix at the time of a tournament (the Super Bowl) gets rowdy...and when the Queen is the ONLY female present, there is no where to escape. The honored guest's faithful charger is blocking the exit out of the royal stables. I think my ears are too sensitive, physically. And my spirit is possibly too sensitive emotionally. If there is going to be rowdiness, I can take it in small doses of positive rowdiness...large doses of calls for Referee-icide are simply beyond my ability to tolerate. If I escape to the kitchens, I am followed and reprimanded. Who will deliver me from my distress? (my apologies to the Psalmist...but I was starting to see some similarities.)
And of course the similarities don't end with my distress. I DO know from "whence cometh my help. My help comes from the Lord." It is simply hard to realize that the deliverance he offers is often that which he is working with me. As I've mentioned before, sometimes it would be nice to have a physical hand up, a palpable embrace that is "all about me". What do I do when my influence on the general tone in my home is apparently of no value? If I complain to friends, the conversation would be unhealthy on so many levels!
I can't give up. There is too much at stake. My response today must be one of peaceful graciousness. If I am run by resentment, or self-pity, I put my castle in jeopardy. And so, this day following the tournament, I chose to "look to the hills", acknowledge my own uber-senitivities, and get busy about the routines of the day. This Castle needs a good dusting!
No comments:
Post a Comment